The World Spins Madly On

              I know, I know. . It has been a really long time since I have posted. . My bad. . I'm still not used to this blogging thing. Today has really been a day of reflection for me. There really isn't much more to do.  I am so grateful for my life. The trials, the experiences, my amazing family and friends, and all of the memories. If I take a step back and view everything, I honestly have a great life! Its kind of a crazy thing looking back. It only seems like yesterday that I was pushing my toy Lawn mower alongside my dad mowing the lawn. Has it really been 21 years??? My mind is just racing with everything that has happened in the past year. A lot has happened and yet, I keep finding myself at the same path of thoughts. Thoughts like "look where I have been, what I've overcome in my personal growth. I should be proud and feel accomplished but I'm not, I am constantly asking my self Where do I go now in life? I look around at all my friends in college and what they do with their lives. I am happy for them and what they are doing of course. I just don't know if I will ever find the one thing that I can do for the rest of my life! I feel like Life itself is a work of art in progress. How boring would a painting look if it only had horizontal brush strokes in the same color and shade? Do you see my conundrum?

           I have been thinking a lot about death lately. . Not because I'm one of those kids that plans out his own death or anything, but because it can happen so easily! It has been a full year since I've lost my older brother Josh to depression. Its really strange to think that someone you can be so close to can just be gone in an instant. .I was almost gone in an instant myself. I'll explain, I was riding my motorcycle through a back country road on my back to Provo from Tooele. The road was a long straight away so of course me being who I am, decided to open up the throttle and really experience this bike. I reached 85mph and from out of nowhere, a deer jumped in front of me! It was about 20 feet in front of me, but at that speed it may have just as well been standing 2 inches away. There was nothing that I could do to avoid the inevitable. The next thing I know I'm watching myself push myself up off the ground and looking around in disbelief. Did that really just happen?? It must have there is the deer laying there, and there is my motorcycle. I have never had an out of body experience but it was really weird/scary! I looked back at the dear and I could see that it was taking its final breaths of life, and I couldn't help but feeling terrible! I just killed this beautiful majestic creature. I Look back now and I cannot believe that I am still alive with nothing but one bruise that is healing really quickly. I have honestly died there on the spot. Just another thing to be grateful for.

Though my life could have ended in a matter of seconds I feel its time to just break the norm and make my own trail instead of following the pre-made roads set in front of me. I'm excited for the new things waiting for me and will just keep going while this world spins madly on. . Peace and love my friends!


-P