Driven and Determined

"Go about doing good until there's too much good in the world." -A thought that came to Larry H. Miller excerpt from his auto-biography Driven.

I read this quote today and I have not been able to get it out of my head. I love it. It makes you feel as if you can achieve this goal but at the same time on a deeper level you realize that you will never be able to accomplish this goal. Can there be too much good in the world we live in? I would think not. As I sit by myself I have a lot of time to reflect on my life and where I have been and what is up ahead of me. Even though I am only 20 I feel that so far, I have lived a pretty amazing life. I have encountered my fair share of trials. Though sometimes I feel that maybe I get more than what is fair, never the less I know that I can get through them. The scriptures show that God will never give us a trial that we cannot handle, and I have grown to testify the validity of that scripture. I also, can tell you about the overcoming of all of my trials. I have emerged a stronger and better person than I was even a month ago. I look back in the past year and can just see everything that has happened and how it has shaped and molded me into the person I am now. I lost my best friend and the girl I loved due to poor choices. I lost friends, I was emotionally curb stomped, and I lost my brother. It has been 6 months since he has taken his life and I miss him everyday. Through all of this adversity there is a silver lining though: I am so thankful for the people that I have met and grown to love for who they really are. I have a deeper appreciation for life and living it. I am thankful for the small things as well as the big things. I appreciate people more than I ever have. I also appreciate myself and finally get that God loves me regardless to how stupid I think I am. As I ponder about where I want my life to go I can't help but feel at piece that I have finally achieved a giant stepping stone in my life and the lives of my entire family past, present, and future! I have turned in my papers completely submitted them to be a missionary for my God. It's funny to think how a choice like this can affect your entire life. I almost feel as if I am saying goodbye to the me I am now and starting to embrace the man that I will become. I guess that is why I have been thinking about life a lot. In a way I feel like I am dying. I'm killing off the natural man in me little by little. It isn't a bad thing either. I really like analyzing my life, I feel that it gives me a sense of purpose an direction. I am more focused, determined, and most importantly Driven. There are a lot of things in life that I expect to get out of them. The only way that I can do that is finally going out and doing it. I can no longer sit by and hope things happen the way that I want them to. No, I need to go out there and decide my fate. No longer am I going to do things for the approval of others, I am doing them for myself. After all it is my life and I want to be happy with the way I lived it when the time comes for me to meet my creator.

I think life in general is a really funny thing. Just when you think you have it figured out, it floors you just to show you who is boss. Its humbling. I look around at other people that I know, and can't help but "feel" for them. I feel sorry for them most of the time. Not that I think that I am better than them. I feel sorry that they can't see what I see in them. Now I am not saying that I have perfected the art of self confidence don't get me wrong, I have my moments where I feel that I have little to no worth in this world and that I am just taking up space. I think it is easier to see greatness in others. It is easier to help someone else out than it is to help yourself out. I am just barely grasping the self help part in this life and hopefully I will have it down. I honestly wonder what life would be like if everyone could see what God sees in us. I am just grateful that he knows what he is doing.

HELLO WORLD!

**BEFORE READING THIS PLEASE GO TO THIS LINK AND LISTEN TO THIS SONG WHILST READING!!! AND MOST OF ALL ENJOY**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vOTUclBxwA

Life is what you make of it, and I have a hectic life! So this post may be a little jumpy and I apologize.

I love it though, and I wouldnt change it for anything. I am in such a blissful mood, some people would think its disgusting. I cant blame them usually im the one that thinks that. I can't help it, I started my Mission interviews and I'm listening to Sara Bareilles, who wouldnt be happy and see the positive in everything around them? I even have a Blog creeper! She isn't really a creep but my Really good friend Michelle! She is great, she's the reason I keep posting. So I guess y'all (or rather you Michelle) would like a detailed update of whats going on in my world. (Its really my world, you all just get to live in it) I guess the only way I can explain whats going on is to steal the lyrics to one of my favorite Sara songs, "Uncharted", "I'm going down, follow if you want, I won't just hang around, like you'll show me where to go, I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how to get started, it's all uncharted..." I'm pretty sure this song is about a girl getting over a break up but to me it has a different meaning. As I have turned my life into the direction that I wanted it to go in, I.E. going on a mission, changing the way I view the world, refusing to accept negativity I realize this is uncharted territory, I never really had the example of going on a mission, or being a very active member. In fact, I didn't really commit to serving one until I moved down here, and was able to see the difference in people. As I look back on my life, how I once was, I am truly amazed to see the growth I have had. I guess I have been going down through "uncharted" territory for a while now. I couldn't be happier with the choices I have made either. I look forward to the future. I wonder it has in store for me. I can't wait to take that leap. 

So back to filling you in on my life. Yesterday I met with the Bishop to turn in my papers. I gotta tell you I was so nervous! (back to the uncharted territory) I got to the Bishop's office and we went through the papers, and it went so smoothly it was great. I was really honored to read what the Bishop wrote about me too. I don't think he knew I was reading it, but I am so glad that I did. It really put my mind at ease about this HUGE step in my life. He wrote, "Phillip is a very outgoing and gregarious person. He is fun loving, and will do anything you ask him to do. He has been serving in our activities committee and has done a fantastic job. He is a natural born leader and will step up to the challenge. I give him my full recommendation without any reservations." After reading that I felt so much better about my decision to serve.


Lets see, what else has been going on. . . I've lost weight a lot actually. Its crazy and I feel so good about it. I met a girl and I kinda like her. . She knows too and she hasn't gone running away from me. So that's a pretty good sign. Oh! I have the most epic adventures with my friend Ben Stanley. Its funny I've only known him for a few months but it feels like we've been good friends for years! We just click. I love it when things like that happen, we get along really well so much that people have referred to us as "the couple" or him as my "boyfriend" and visa versa. It doesn't bother me though. I feel that every self respecting man has a bromance. Why not have a healthy one right? If I had to describe it, I would urge you watch scrubs. After seeing the way JD and Turk interact you'll understand haha. In fact watch the musical episode and skip to the "Guy Love" song. Nuff said.


Another thing that has happened that I feel is worth mentioning, Erin the manager of my apartment asked me to do something that I thought no one would ever ask me. She asked me if I could break open the safe in the office because her daughter Lucy, (who is quite possibly the cutest 21 month year old girl in the world) broke a key in the lock. So using a small set of precision screwdrivers, a paper clip, and with the help of Lucy, I got the key out and was able to pick the lock and insert the key into the other and get the safe open for Erin. It was pretty cool! Afterwards, I felt like a combination of Brad Pitt and George Clooney in the Oceans trilogy, and everyone said that watching those movies are a waste of time. I say NAY! 


Other than these and the constant battle I have with zombies trying to infect me my life is pretty normal. For those of you who are reading this. I think you all are fantastic. I hope your day is going as great as mine :)


Compare to where you are and where you wan't to be, and you'll get nowhere ~ Sarah Bareilles.

Uh. . Really? ?

When I created this blog I never wanted to be that guy that complains about everything. I always told myself this isn't a place for me to whine and complain no one wants to read that type of material. I honestly can tell you though, today's post I just need to vent. I realize not to many people read this so I feel that I won't really be bothering anyone with this post. What I want to blog about is my job. First let me be clear. I'm super grateful for the fact that I have a job I know in this economy its hard to come by one. Second I really do in fact like where I work. Third I know what i'm about to say happens all of the time, it doesn't mean it doesn't bother me though. There are just some things that go down that kinda bother me.
   I work at a call center and I answer phones and I talk to all sorts of people. With all sorts of intelligence levels. For the most part I try to be optimistic and remain nice on the phone, but there are times when I feel like I answer the same question over and over again through the duration of one call. It's kind of hard to remain enthused about helping someone when they obviously aren't getting it the first time. . Do they think that by changing the wording of the question is going to change the core meaning? Sorry its not its still the same question worded differently, which means that the previous answer is still going to mean the same thing.
   I deal with that type of question dozens of times on a daily basis. So yeah i sound like a monotone robot. My boss Andy thinks that I feel that this job is a chore and is constantly getting on my case about it. Today for example I was answering a question with a member and he asks me a question. I'm obviously on the phone so I can't really answer his question because the consumer comes first. He gets on IM and asks are you aggravated today? Well I am now. We have an office of 7 call center agents (including me) our job is simple, answer the phone and be nice. Apparently to some, thats hard work. There are 2 girls who work here and they would rather ignore calls to keep watching their TV shows (usually Jersey shore or some other form of reality TV), Look at friends photos on FB, or my personal favorite. Gossip and they do it for hours!, and as LOUD as they can. It really annoys me, because they do it at the busiest time of the day. Do you think the bosses get after them? Nope not even in the slightest. It really peaves me off when im trying to my best effort and go above and beyond what im asked to do and everyone else (with the exception of a few) does nothing. My bosses Nephew will straight up yell at the customers and he gets away with it. I sound annoyed and I get a talkin to.
     I understand its hard to be a manager but if your going to jump on my case because my tone sounds like its a chore to talk to dummies then maybe you should jump on other people for yelling, ignoring or in one girl's case straight up treating customers like crap. There are worse things that I can be doing. Also one last thing, It is a chore to have to talk to dumb people. They are dumb! They dont understand the simplest of phrases. Let alon how to get on the internet. Before you come and get on my case, leave your office and sit at my desk that way you can see and listen to all of the stuff you fail to fix. Sorry everyone I hope you all are having a great day. I really just needed to vent.

Drug induced Llamas. .

It is day 3 of my pain killer regiment and I have to tell you. I thought I was crazy before I now realize i wasn't I am seriously going insane! The effects of my painkillers have not worn off yet and going to work while on prescription pain killers is not a good idea. There are pink llamas dancing on my desk right now its really distracting. . .  Kinda like this video! Whichever company made percocet Bravo and a round of applause to you. This stuff makes me paranoid and anti-social. I cant remember what happened last night all I know is my world is upside down. (the llamas are now green) I think they change color based on my mood. How cool wouldit be if you could have mood llamas? Take that mood rings! So an explanation as to why I have to take these pills first and foremost it isnt recreational I don't know how anyone could enjoy feeling like they can't function. . I went to the dentist who I believe is sadistic and had a crown put on my front tooth. Tooth #9 to be exact and now the tooth is infected. It seriously feels like my gums are trying to give birth. I called my dentist who prescribed Percocet and for me to start a anti-biotics regiment. He also said  ill need to get a root canal so there goes another 200.00 dollars out of my life. Oh well, it will all be worth it in the end right?  Anyways I hope you all have enjoyed my drug induced post today. If a cat approaches you today don't take nay advice from him. He's out to get you. . By the way I did my best to recreate what one of the llamas looked like. Its the pink blob in my post. Its art dont judge

6 Places

6 Places

ITALIA!!

 Italy is such a bigcountry that I have to go to each place into particular

ROMA!

Amazing! Look how wonderful this city is! I would love to get lost here for a while :)

VENEZIA! (Venice)

Who wouldn't want to see this every night from a gondola? 

TOSCANA! (Tuscany)

I would love to have a Tuscan Villa some day Look how gorgeous that landscape is!!

SICILIA!! (Sicily)

The bithplace of the Mafioso I belong here. . 

2. ESPANA! (Spain)

Spain is where my family comes from I have always dreamed of going back to see everything my ancestors lived in :)

MADRID

BARCALONA

VALENCIA

3.PORTUGAL

4. LONDON!!

5. UNITED ARAB EMIRATES 

6. THE TEMPLE

My 7 Wants

1. I wan't a car, and not just any car a nice one. Like a BMW 7 series or Mercedes heck, i'd even go for an Audi!

2. I want to be able to wear suits a lot! Custom made for me. Like custom Armani's with fitted French Cuff, English Collar shirts with nice Cuff links!

3. I wan't to be able to command a room with my presence.

4. I want a family. Especially a daughter. I want my Princess!

5. I want to be successful in anything I try.

6. I want to be a good example, looked up to as a good guy and mentor

7. I want people to know that I will do anything to help someone out.

~END~

8 Fears

Sorry everyone I have been kinda busy to continue with the 10 days thing so here are my 8 fears.

1. Failure, not your average failed a test failure but the whole failure at life thing.

2. Losing my Family in particular my Mother.

3. Gremlins damn things always stealing my socks!

4. Losing my friends.

5. Dying too young.

6. Divorce.

7. Girls. When they get angry they deserve to be feared.

8. God.

Just a day in the life

Im at work trying to fully transition over to my new responsibilities as SEO Director (cool Title huh?) I never realized how hard it is to get our deal of the day website Incredibuys noticed my the major search engines. Should be fun though if you're bored and want see some insanely low prices on great gear check it out!

Just another Mormon hiding his Horns and riding the bus. .

At my job I get the privelage to talk to all sorts of people. I love it to be honest. It has done wonders for my fake accents. The one thing that bothers me is how dim-witted the people that call in. I usually try to stay positive on life and people there in, but these guys can deflate any optimistic out look on civilization with in talking to them for 30 seconds. I dont understand why you feel like I need to hear about your cat missing a leg, your bunions on your feet, or how you think there are aliens stealing your remote! That has no relevance to cancelling your membership. . Don’t get me wrong I love my job, I have learned so much and I don’t know of any friends that has the honor of talking to someone at least once a week claiming to be Jesus himself or his mouth piece. Those are my favorite calls cause it always turns into a religion discussion.

I always get asked If I know God loves me (I do) who wouldn’t love me? Then the best question of all which religion are you? Usually at this point of the conversation all relevant business to the program has been taken care of and the customer/converter just wants to talk. I can deal with that. So when asked what denomination I belong to I proudly state I am a Mormon. That changes the tone of the entire call and its interesting to see it happen. What went from a friendly conversion now turns into a condemnation and rebuking for my beliefs. To quote Jim Morrison, “People are strange” probably the most honest statement out there.

I think different cultures are fun to learn about. Im not sure if I posted on here about this or not but I made a new friend on the bus. **Side note, if your ever bored or feeling down on yourself go ride the public bus! You’ll soon realize how lucky you are!** Anyways back to my new friend. Her name is Soon and she is from Korea. I helped her out once find the stop she needed to get to and now she won’t stop talking to me. Its not a bad thing but the ride on the bus is usually “me time”. She tells me about Korea and always has a bunch of Bananas which she has no problem peeling and just shoving into my mouth, She thinks its funny. . Today after cramming a banana in my mouth she took my phone to make a call. then my paper cause she wanted to read it. I guess thats cool in Korea. I doubt I would ever make it lving there cause I like my personal space. I try not to make a big deal out of her doing so because she isn’t used to our customs. It honestly makes me wonder what other people from different countries would do in a similiar setting. I hope one day to help out an italian straight out of Italy on the bus maybe he’ll sing opera the entire time or give me spaghetti… 

9 LOVES

10 DAYS

10 SECRETS 9 LOVES 

8 FEARS 7 WANTS 6 PLACES 

5 FOODS 4 BOOKS 3 FILMS 2 SONGS

1 PICTURE OF YOURSELF  

9 LOVES

1. My Family!

Brian, Mom, Thomas, and Myself.

Back Row L-R: Zach, Brian, Dad, Me

Front L-R: Thomas, Kenzie, Cyndie, Brigit, Josh (Miss you!) Brooklyn (my Beautiful Niece)

2. My Brother Joshua Michael Austin

03/29/1990 - 04/09/2011

Josh is seriously my hero, He was my older brother and we fought, laughed, cried, and got into trouble with each other. He was and is the greatest example of service I learned a lot from him. I don't think he ever knew how much I admired him.

3. My Friends

                                                                 Tori, Phil, and Dane 

                                                     James, Octavia, Me, Rachel, and Trevor

                                                             Jarom, Courtney, Mikelle, and Kayla 

                                                   Me and my beautiful best friend Mariah 

This is Parker, He is basically my greatest Friend in the entire world. We goofed off so much. To put it plainly we were basically J.D. and Turk off of scrubs. We were that close haha

3. FOOD!!!

5 Cars

One day I will own both of these cars

      1968 Ford Mustang GT500

VW Bus Need I say More? Though I want mine to be lime green

6 Music!

To me Music is everything whether it's playing it or just listening to it. I have a song that goes with everything I do. I love having my own Soundtrack to life

7. AUDREY HEPBURN

Need I say More? I realize this actress is the same actress our grandfather's had crushes on but who can resist? She is the epitome of class during the silver screen era! If I had a time machine I would go back to marry her.

8. Money

This actually more of a Love/Hate relationship

I love having money I love spending money. I hate that everything requires money. and that its pocket sized corruption

9. I LOVE LIFE!

I'm more or less High on Life. I think it's fascinating how every day merits a chance to be the greatest day in your life! I love seeing new things, meeting new people, and going to new places. I think those who embrace life are some of the happiest people out there. Life is an adventure waiting to be taken :)

These are things I love everyday. Its never changing and will always be the same

~END~

10 Secrets

10 DAYS

10 SECRETS 9 LOVES 

8 FEARS 7 WANTS 6 PLACES 

5 FOODS 4 BOOKS 3 FILMS 2 SONGS

1 PICTURE OF YOURSELF  

So I decided to try this 10 days thing it should be pretty interesting. I think it will be a great opportunity for everyone including myself to get to know me better.

10 SECRETS

1. I feel like I'm over weight even though people say I'm not.

    2. Sometimes I feel like people keep me around cause they don't                want to hurt my feelings                             

                                 

3. I hate knowing there is someone out there that hates me.

4. I always feel like I'm not good enough.

5. I feel like people misunderstand me a lot.

6. Sometimes I feel like I need to prove myself on everything before I'm accepted

7. I hate having friends leave.

8. I have no idea what I wan't from life. At times I feel like I have a pretty good understanding but ultimately I feel lost.

9. Though going on a Mission makes me more excited than a fat kid about to eat cake It also scares the tar out of me thinking about it.

10. I'm afraid of what will be different in 2 years and even further down the road.

~END~

A new day = new potential for an adventure.

As I do every morning I woke up at 6:45 so I could take my shower and eat a healthy breakfast and still be out the door in time to catch the 822 bus to BYU. arriving at BYU I board the 832 en route to the Timpanogos Transit Center where I will walk off that bus right onto the 850 Northbound that drops me off 100 yards away from my office. Easy routine right? I quite like it it never changes and is always the same. I can trust that my system will work. The funny thing about life is when you get comfortable with something to the point where it just becomes habit, life will shake things up a bit. Today I rode the bus to BYU got on the 832 as normal but instead of having Bob the friendly bus driver like I usually do I had instead who I will call Diane (I don't know if that's her real name is it relevant? I think not) Diane is  nice she greeted me with a smile and a "good morning" nothing too out of the ordinary. I took my usual seat next to the window and started working at my crossword 5 minutes went by and we still haven't moved. I looked up to see Diane doing her make-up in the rear view mirror! I was seriously thinking at this point are you kidding me?? I know that everyday is a new chance to meet your eternal companion but come on! No one boards the bus with the mindset of I think my future sweetheart might be the driver! I hope i don't miss the 850 because of this. Sure enough as we are pulling into the TTC the 850 is already gone i was 5 minutes late. I am a little peeved at this time cause that means I have to sit here for 30 minutes and stare at people. . As I was sitting by myself minding my own business and I probably had what my friends call "The Look" which is a look that says don't come and talk to me. I'm mean. Well a lady who I thought was Chinese came up to me and asked if I could help her with the schedule. I greeted her with a smile and said I would love to. She sat down next to me and  It turns out we would be riding the same bus. We both boarded and she motioned for me to sit next to her. I did and she started talking to me I found out that she is Korean and is from the Busan region. I told her that I had a couple of friends serve missions in that area and she told me that she was baptized a Mormon we talked the entire trip to my stop and asked each other questions about our backgrounds all through out the conversation she was giving me bananas to eat. I had 3 bananas before I got off the bus. I don't know what it is about me that says to complete strangers to come up and talk to me but it happens a lot. I can only smile and think that this will inevitably come in hand for the next 2  years. After getting off the bus I walked into my office in a completely different mood. What started out as annoyance towards Diane ended with me being in a very good mood because I had made a new friend. Life is funny how things work out. Everything happens for  a reason and now I'm grateful that my "schedule" was changed slightly. I doubt ill ever forget this experience, and will always be able to use it as an example of service charity, and missionary work. Every day is a new adventure in the game of life and i forgot that this morning. Its going to be cool what happens next. :)

Punched by a Robot

When your at the dentist getting work done, and they say let your jaw rest for a few does not mean you get to close your mouth. It actually is code for, "I'm pulling my hands out so my dental assistant can shove hers in your mouth." I just thought you all would like to know that. If you haven't guessed already I went to the dentist today. As always, it was such a treat. I had 4 cavities filled and a crown on my top center left tooth. That was a crazy experience lemme tell you! The start with the drill and shave your tooth down to a little nub and then pop a fake tooth on that they made out of resin and other composites thats shaped just like the tooth they destroyed. It was pretty neat watching them do the inevitable. You see when I was a little kid my 6 siblings and I got scooters for Christmas when they were a big deal. Anyways one day we were riding around outside and having fun I hit the little lip of concrete on the incline of our drive way. I flipped over the handle bars and chipped that same tooth in half that was replaced today. I was told years ago that there will come a day when it will need a crown, and that beautiful day was today! I'll get to go back in 2 weeks to put the permanent crown on and then I can finally turn my papers in for my mission. It seems like every time I get super close to turning them in something comes up haha. Would anyone like to guess what the next disaster would be? We can bet on it! In all seriousness though I am super excited to turn them in. It will just be the greatest thing to happen in my life so far. It was great being able to go home for this appointment I was able to  show Tooele to who I consider one of the greatest friends I will ever meet Dane Bjork. Im pretty sure he loves Tooele now. The funny thing is, now that I go back Im more in love with it than I think i'll ever be. Its just that feeling of being home. Its great. For those of you that hate your hometown dont take it for granted  its the greatest place you'll ever live in this lifetime and if you have the chance to go back and raise a family. I would jump on that faster than fat on cake!

I'm on my way

I was watching the other side of heaven at work (tough job right?)  I have never seen this movie all the way through before. For those of you who don't know what the movie is about, it's about Elder John H. Groberg of the presidency of the seventy, but back then he was just a kid from Idaho Falls who in 1953 goes on his mission to Tonga. the movie goes through the 2 years he spent there with the Tongan people. It shows the trials of learning the language, being immersed in a completely different culture. It show those who don't accept him because he is different. It also shows him overcoming every single one of those trials. There is one scene in particular that touched my heart. (I couldn't find a clip of it so bear with me) John is trying to learn the language he does so by kneeling on a small sand bar in the water with 2 bibles one in English the other in Tongan, he reads aloud a verse from the English then the same verse from the Tongan version. He does this until he finishes the books. In the movie it shows that it went through a space of I think 4 days. He didn't eat and he didn't leave until he was finished. What made this scene so special to me is that it shows that faith he had in the lord that he could learn a language that no one other than those who spoke knew existed back then. I'm so excited that in a little less than 2 days I'll be sitting in front of my Bishop to start the process of turning my papers in so I too can be thrown into a culture shock.

I've added a video that to me encompasses what Missionary work really is from the eyes of the Missionary. It makes me excited :)

Something to think about

I work in a call center so I talk to all sorts of different people from all over the country some who immigrated to the U.S. to live the american dream of public schools, healthcare, NASCAR, and obesity. That being said I talk to a lot of people who sound like they just hate life, and aren't happy. That makes me really sad. I think people have forgotten their true potential, and just how amazing they are! I was talking to my mom last night and during our conversation about a lesson we had on the Law of Chasity I literally laughed out loud and when she asked why I was laughing I told her, "Mom I'm amazing!" "Do you realize that I was the strongest sperm cell? I was like the Michael Phelps of the bunch!" (Once again my mind wanders away from the topic a lot). I think people who feel like they have no reason in this world should look at that and say hmmm . . If I was able to break through and egg and go through all stages of Mitosis or Meiosis I could get through anything. I think this world would be a happier place. There is so much to live for just look around! Listen to some music and for goodness sake find something to be happy about in this world. Its hard enough as it is when you turn on the news and in a matter 15 minutes could send anyone into a spiraling depression. Why doesn't the news report on happy stuff, or take a news story and spin it to something happy. I think every newscast should end with something like on Anchorman. Well until something else random pops in my head stay classy bloggers. .