Driven and Determined

"Go about doing good until there's too much good in the world." -A thought that came to Larry H. Miller excerpt from his auto-biography Driven.

I read this quote today and I have not been able to get it out of my head. I love it. It makes you feel as if you can achieve this goal but at the same time on a deeper level you realize that you will never be able to accomplish this goal. Can there be too much good in the world we live in? I would think not. As I sit by myself I have a lot of time to reflect on my life and where I have been and what is up ahead of me. Even though I am only 20 I feel that so far, I have lived a pretty amazing life. I have encountered my fair share of trials. Though sometimes I feel that maybe I get more than what is fair, never the less I know that I can get through them. The scriptures show that God will never give us a trial that we cannot handle, and I have grown to testify the validity of that scripture. I also, can tell you about the overcoming of all of my trials. I have emerged a stronger and better person than I was even a month ago. I look back in the past year and can just see everything that has happened and how it has shaped and molded me into the person I am now. I lost my best friend and the girl I loved due to poor choices. I lost friends, I was emotionally curb stomped, and I lost my brother. It has been 6 months since he has taken his life and I miss him everyday. Through all of this adversity there is a silver lining though: I am so thankful for the people that I have met and grown to love for who they really are. I have a deeper appreciation for life and living it. I am thankful for the small things as well as the big things. I appreciate people more than I ever have. I also appreciate myself and finally get that God loves me regardless to how stupid I think I am. As I ponder about where I want my life to go I can't help but feel at piece that I have finally achieved a giant stepping stone in my life and the lives of my entire family past, present, and future! I have turned in my papers completely submitted them to be a missionary for my God. It's funny to think how a choice like this can affect your entire life. I almost feel as if I am saying goodbye to the me I am now and starting to embrace the man that I will become. I guess that is why I have been thinking about life a lot. In a way I feel like I am dying. I'm killing off the natural man in me little by little. It isn't a bad thing either. I really like analyzing my life, I feel that it gives me a sense of purpose an direction. I am more focused, determined, and most importantly Driven. There are a lot of things in life that I expect to get out of them. The only way that I can do that is finally going out and doing it. I can no longer sit by and hope things happen the way that I want them to. No, I need to go out there and decide my fate. No longer am I going to do things for the approval of others, I am doing them for myself. After all it is my life and I want to be happy with the way I lived it when the time comes for me to meet my creator.

I think life in general is a really funny thing. Just when you think you have it figured out, it floors you just to show you who is boss. Its humbling. I look around at other people that I know, and can't help but "feel" for them. I feel sorry for them most of the time. Not that I think that I am better than them. I feel sorry that they can't see what I see in them. Now I am not saying that I have perfected the art of self confidence don't get me wrong, I have my moments where I feel that I have little to no worth in this world and that I am just taking up space. I think it is easier to see greatness in others. It is easier to help someone else out than it is to help yourself out. I am just barely grasping the self help part in this life and hopefully I will have it down. I honestly wonder what life would be like if everyone could see what God sees in us. I am just grateful that he knows what he is doing.

HELLO WORLD!

**BEFORE READING THIS PLEASE GO TO THIS LINK AND LISTEN TO THIS SONG WHILST READING!!! AND MOST OF ALL ENJOY**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vOTUclBxwA

Life is what you make of it, and I have a hectic life! So this post may be a little jumpy and I apologize.

I love it though, and I wouldnt change it for anything. I am in such a blissful mood, some people would think its disgusting. I cant blame them usually im the one that thinks that. I can't help it, I started my Mission interviews and I'm listening to Sara Bareilles, who wouldnt be happy and see the positive in everything around them? I even have a Blog creeper! She isn't really a creep but my Really good friend Michelle! She is great, she's the reason I keep posting. So I guess y'all (or rather you Michelle) would like a detailed update of whats going on in my world. (Its really my world, you all just get to live in it) I guess the only way I can explain whats going on is to steal the lyrics to one of my favorite Sara songs, "Uncharted", "I'm going down, follow if you want, I won't just hang around, like you'll show me where to go, I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how to get started, it's all uncharted..." I'm pretty sure this song is about a girl getting over a break up but to me it has a different meaning. As I have turned my life into the direction that I wanted it to go in, I.E. going on a mission, changing the way I view the world, refusing to accept negativity I realize this is uncharted territory, I never really had the example of going on a mission, or being a very active member. In fact, I didn't really commit to serving one until I moved down here, and was able to see the difference in people. As I look back on my life, how I once was, I am truly amazed to see the growth I have had. I guess I have been going down through "uncharted" territory for a while now. I couldn't be happier with the choices I have made either. I look forward to the future. I wonder it has in store for me. I can't wait to take that leap. 

So back to filling you in on my life. Yesterday I met with the Bishop to turn in my papers. I gotta tell you I was so nervous! (back to the uncharted territory) I got to the Bishop's office and we went through the papers, and it went so smoothly it was great. I was really honored to read what the Bishop wrote about me too. I don't think he knew I was reading it, but I am so glad that I did. It really put my mind at ease about this HUGE step in my life. He wrote, "Phillip is a very outgoing and gregarious person. He is fun loving, and will do anything you ask him to do. He has been serving in our activities committee and has done a fantastic job. He is a natural born leader and will step up to the challenge. I give him my full recommendation without any reservations." After reading that I felt so much better about my decision to serve.


Lets see, what else has been going on. . . I've lost weight a lot actually. Its crazy and I feel so good about it. I met a girl and I kinda like her. . She knows too and she hasn't gone running away from me. So that's a pretty good sign. Oh! I have the most epic adventures with my friend Ben Stanley. Its funny I've only known him for a few months but it feels like we've been good friends for years! We just click. I love it when things like that happen, we get along really well so much that people have referred to us as "the couple" or him as my "boyfriend" and visa versa. It doesn't bother me though. I feel that every self respecting man has a bromance. Why not have a healthy one right? If I had to describe it, I would urge you watch scrubs. After seeing the way JD and Turk interact you'll understand haha. In fact watch the musical episode and skip to the "Guy Love" song. Nuff said.


Another thing that has happened that I feel is worth mentioning, Erin the manager of my apartment asked me to do something that I thought no one would ever ask me. She asked me if I could break open the safe in the office because her daughter Lucy, (who is quite possibly the cutest 21 month year old girl in the world) broke a key in the lock. So using a small set of precision screwdrivers, a paper clip, and with the help of Lucy, I got the key out and was able to pick the lock and insert the key into the other and get the safe open for Erin. It was pretty cool! Afterwards, I felt like a combination of Brad Pitt and George Clooney in the Oceans trilogy, and everyone said that watching those movies are a waste of time. I say NAY! 


Other than these and the constant battle I have with zombies trying to infect me my life is pretty normal. For those of you who are reading this. I think you all are fantastic. I hope your day is going as great as mine :)


Compare to where you are and where you wan't to be, and you'll get nowhere ~ Sarah Bareilles.

Uh. . Really? ?

When I created this blog I never wanted to be that guy that complains about everything. I always told myself this isn't a place for me to whine and complain no one wants to read that type of material. I honestly can tell you though, today's post I just need to vent. I realize not to many people read this so I feel that I won't really be bothering anyone with this post. What I want to blog about is my job. First let me be clear. I'm super grateful for the fact that I have a job I know in this economy its hard to come by one. Second I really do in fact like where I work. Third I know what i'm about to say happens all of the time, it doesn't mean it doesn't bother me though. There are just some things that go down that kinda bother me.
   I work at a call center and I answer phones and I talk to all sorts of people. With all sorts of intelligence levels. For the most part I try to be optimistic and remain nice on the phone, but there are times when I feel like I answer the same question over and over again through the duration of one call. It's kind of hard to remain enthused about helping someone when they obviously aren't getting it the first time. . Do they think that by changing the wording of the question is going to change the core meaning? Sorry its not its still the same question worded differently, which means that the previous answer is still going to mean the same thing.
   I deal with that type of question dozens of times on a daily basis. So yeah i sound like a monotone robot. My boss Andy thinks that I feel that this job is a chore and is constantly getting on my case about it. Today for example I was answering a question with a member and he asks me a question. I'm obviously on the phone so I can't really answer his question because the consumer comes first. He gets on IM and asks are you aggravated today? Well I am now. We have an office of 7 call center agents (including me) our job is simple, answer the phone and be nice. Apparently to some, thats hard work. There are 2 girls who work here and they would rather ignore calls to keep watching their TV shows (usually Jersey shore or some other form of reality TV), Look at friends photos on FB, or my personal favorite. Gossip and they do it for hours!, and as LOUD as they can. It really annoys me, because they do it at the busiest time of the day. Do you think the bosses get after them? Nope not even in the slightest. It really peaves me off when im trying to my best effort and go above and beyond what im asked to do and everyone else (with the exception of a few) does nothing. My bosses Nephew will straight up yell at the customers and he gets away with it. I sound annoyed and I get a talkin to.
     I understand its hard to be a manager but if your going to jump on my case because my tone sounds like its a chore to talk to dummies then maybe you should jump on other people for yelling, ignoring or in one girl's case straight up treating customers like crap. There are worse things that I can be doing. Also one last thing, It is a chore to have to talk to dumb people. They are dumb! They dont understand the simplest of phrases. Let alon how to get on the internet. Before you come and get on my case, leave your office and sit at my desk that way you can see and listen to all of the stuff you fail to fix. Sorry everyone I hope you all are having a great day. I really just needed to vent.

Drug induced Llamas. .

It is day 3 of my pain killer regiment and I have to tell you. I thought I was crazy before I now realize i wasn't I am seriously going insane! The effects of my painkillers have not worn off yet and going to work while on prescription pain killers is not a good idea. There are pink llamas dancing on my desk right now its really distracting. . .  Kinda like this video! Whichever company made percocet Bravo and a round of applause to you. This stuff makes me paranoid and anti-social. I cant remember what happened last night all I know is my world is upside down. (the llamas are now green) I think they change color based on my mood. How cool wouldit be if you could have mood llamas? Take that mood rings! So an explanation as to why I have to take these pills first and foremost it isnt recreational I don't know how anyone could enjoy feeling like they can't function. . I went to the dentist who I believe is sadistic and had a crown put on my front tooth. Tooth #9 to be exact and now the tooth is infected. It seriously feels like my gums are trying to give birth. I called my dentist who prescribed Percocet and for me to start a anti-biotics regiment. He also said  ill need to get a root canal so there goes another 200.00 dollars out of my life. Oh well, it will all be worth it in the end right?  Anyways I hope you all have enjoyed my drug induced post today. If a cat approaches you today don't take nay advice from him. He's out to get you. . By the way I did my best to recreate what one of the llamas looked like. Its the pink blob in my post. Its art dont judge

6 Places

6 Places

ITALIA!!

 Italy is such a bigcountry that I have to go to each place into particular

ROMA!

Amazing! Look how wonderful this city is! I would love to get lost here for a while :)

VENEZIA! (Venice)

Who wouldn't want to see this every night from a gondola? 

TOSCANA! (Tuscany)

I would love to have a Tuscan Villa some day Look how gorgeous that landscape is!!

SICILIA!! (Sicily)

The bithplace of the Mafioso I belong here. . 

2. ESPANA! (Spain)

Spain is where my family comes from I have always dreamed of going back to see everything my ancestors lived in :)

MADRID

BARCALONA

VALENCIA

3.PORTUGAL

4. LONDON!!

5. UNITED ARAB EMIRATES 

6. THE TEMPLE

My 7 Wants

1. I wan't a car, and not just any car a nice one. Like a BMW 7 series or Mercedes heck, i'd even go for an Audi!

2. I want to be able to wear suits a lot! Custom made for me. Like custom Armani's with fitted French Cuff, English Collar shirts with nice Cuff links!

3. I wan't to be able to command a room with my presence.

4. I want a family. Especially a daughter. I want my Princess!

5. I want to be successful in anything I try.

6. I want to be a good example, looked up to as a good guy and mentor

7. I want people to know that I will do anything to help someone out.

~END~

8 Fears

Sorry everyone I have been kinda busy to continue with the 10 days thing so here are my 8 fears.

1. Failure, not your average failed a test failure but the whole failure at life thing.

2. Losing my Family in particular my Mother.

3. Gremlins damn things always stealing my socks!

4. Losing my friends.

5. Dying too young.

6. Divorce.

7. Girls. When they get angry they deserve to be feared.

8. God.